Doubts
Every year, the biggest firms in the nation and in each region head out to law schools to do on-campus interviews for their summer programs. This year, a lot of major firms have backed out in the east; thankfully, here in Oklahoma, most of the big regional firms and many firms from Dallas are still looking to hire for next summer. (Interestingly, Cravath is coming to my school; I didn’t expect that.)
Usually, these interviews take place after the school year begins. The career services people decided to bump up the interview process this year, so we begin on August 14th. I had a lot of bad luck last year in OCI, when I was a 1L. This year, my class rank is exactly the same, but I’ve added some very important things to my resume that should make me an excellent candidate.
But there is a lingering doubt—last semester, after all, only 1 of the 7 big firms I applied to interviewed me. So I have very little confidence, despite the strength of my resume and (hopefully) my cover letter.
Girl is going through something similar. She made an A on her first Gross Anatomy test, but she is petrified she will do poorly on her second exam this afternoon. From the outside looking in, I don’t have much doubts that she will do well; she has the same feeling about me getting a good job. But on the inside, both of us are ridden with anxiety about our futures, and I’m left wondering when the nerves will settle.
I’m afraid it won’t be for a while. I spoke to one of my friends this morning, who clerked for a large firm this summer in OK. She is worrying that because of that brand name on her resume, other big firms will look past her as already taken. I told her I would love to have that brand name on my resume; but if I did, I would probably feel like she does anyway.
Life is about more than money, careers. But for girl and I, both are very important—yet I can’t help but think I need to accept things more stoically, both the good and the bad. Nothing in my life has left me hungry so far, so I will just keep plodding along, with the faith that everything will turn out in the end.
I hope I’m not telling myself a fairy tale.